There is no doubt that childhood years are the most important stage for learning and capturing values and building essential thoughts of a person. Raising kids has become an issue for some parents, especially with all the pitfalls that we are witnessing in our society nowadays, and the aggravating problems facing children.
Society would have not got into this level of degradation if the people haven’t drifted from the path that the prophet guided them to when building new generations. Raising your children right is not depriving them of anything, nor giving them the full freedom to practice whatever things that might not be right. It is a long process of transmitting, following up, and preaching with constructive recommendations. So teaching ourselves and our children about Islamic tenets is very essential, because we are the first to transmit these tenets to our children, before they get them from outside society.
Every parent loves to see their children in the best places in this life, and as an educator, you always have your ways to transmit a message to your child. Teaching a child in the early years is much easier than teaching at later ages, because their minds would still be fresh and everything will be more fixed in their heads for the rest of their life. So let us as parents be good role models for our little ones to gain, if Allah wills, Allah’s pleasure and mercy in this life and his paradise in the afterlife.
Children are Allah’s loved ones. They are particular, and Allah put in the hearts of the mother and father a bundle of love for their children. All mothers are similar in their love for their children, and if this love was not found, no human would be left on earth.
We provide for you below a little guide with tips to help you raise your children on the Islamic values:
1. Be a Good Parent
Allah has honored the parents with this verse in the Holy Book:
The biggest credit is for the mother and father in education. This does not imply solely on transmitting education for children, but also on being a good person at heart as a parent, as mentioned in the Quran:
What intercedes for a child in the first place is the righteousness of his parents, because if they are good with Allah, He will give them goodness in their children.
2. Know your Responsibilities
Before school intervenes or anyone from the extended family or the society transmits any ideas for a child, it is commonly understood that the parents’ role is the most essential, and that’s what the prophet ‘peace be upon him’ told us:
This also involves the transmission of religion to the children:
The greatest role of a woman is raising her kids, because doing it in the right way, and in what pleases Allah, will grant the society in future, effective good elements that will follow the same right path with the new generations. Elements that are honest, trustworthy, faithful, full of benevolence and good for others. The main duty of the father is to provide a good life (including the financial side) for his wife and his children. If the parents shorten in their roles with their children, they will be asked and held accountant for that by Allah.
3. Teach them Salah at the Age of Seven
The personality of the children is by its majority built by the age of seven, and the prophet ‘peace be upon him’ recommended us to start teaching our children prayer by this age.
If kids reach the age of puberty, it becomes very difficult to convince them to perform prayer, or perhaps it requires a major effort to do so, and this is why parents are advised to let their children mimic their acts in prayer since early years, to reach the age of 7, knowing all the steps and loving to perform prayer.
4. Teach them the Arabic Language
Teaching your children the Arabic language, will help you teach them the Quran that is their provision and protection in this life. This does not delete the importance of learning other languages, yet the most essential one is Arabic, the language of the Quran and the language in which the Prophet ‘peace be upon him’ spoke.
5. Talk to them and Discuss their Issues
Talk to your children and discuss all topics that come to your and their minds, even sensitive subjects that are still taboos for others. Do not let your children’s questions be answered by strangers, yet always be their reference, especially in religious, physical and emotional issues. Teach them that there is no deprivation in Islam but everything has its own timing.
Explain to them that every desire that was built in them, will have a path, in the right way and at the right time. For instance, there will come a time when they will satisfy their sexual need in what pleases Allah, a time when a girl can reveal all her beauty without a sin (at home), and even, they will have a chance to drink wine, only in Jannah.
6. Be a Friend with your Little Ones
Letting your children love you is essential. It is not only about making them respect you, but also give them reasons to love you and let them enjoy your presence. Prepare your house to be a home full of love, calmness, tolerance as the prophet ‘peace be upon him’ confirms that the absolute goodness for a person, is at his home. Make your home a heaven.
At the age of adolescence, the best way to deal with your children is by creating a friendship with them and having their company. Listen to them, give them a space to express themselves and support them on all their issues. It is the responsibility of both parents to give their children time and listen to them.
Let them accompany you in the majority of your movements, and get them to learn about life by themselves, with your supervision.
7. Offer the Child love, Tenderness and Humility
One of the basic components of building a child’s personality is giving him love and tenderness and satisfying him emotionally and psychologically. The prophet ‘peace be upon him’ said,
This prophetic guidance indicates the keenness of the Prophet ‘peace be upon him’ that shows the parents who hold responsibility the importance of mercy and love towards their children. A good educator is the one that catches the little one, comes down to his level, plays with him, jokes with him and does not expel him from his council.
This healthy relationship will bring a lot of mutual love, respect and will eliminate all barriers between children and parents, for the rest of their life.
8. Treat Children Equally
It is a very important method in correcting children, instilling love among them, and keeping them away from grudges and hatred. For if they see one of their parents inclined to a child rather than others in giving gifts, and showing attention, this will lower the confidence of the child, build superiority in the personality of the other and create clashes among the siblings. Prevent the excessive blame and reproach for children.
This is also implied on treating girls and boys equally yet with justice, to what concerns each one of them and meets their needs.
9. Make Dua’a for Them
One of the greatest methods of the Prophet ‘peace be upon him’ in raising children is praying for them; and this is one of the guaranteed ways to have a positive effect on the children if Allah wills.
Pray for their guidance and persistence on the values and practices of Islam, pray for their better present and future and pray for every single little wish that you want to have for them, and Allah will never let you down.
When deciding to have children, plan to create a child with the manners of Prophet Muhammad ‘peace be upon him’, or in the spirit of Salahuddin. A child to grow and be a man in the wisdom of Omar Bin Al Khattab and the courage of Ali Bin Abi Taleb. We want to create leaders, responsible people who take control and be in positions of stewardship.
Do not let the “screens” take you away from your children, nor take them from you! Fulfill the emotional needs of your children and fill their personalities with the best models that you want to transmit for them.
We ask Allah to help us raise our children on the right path, in what pleases him.
🌼🌼May Allah protect our children and grant them His obedience, bless them, and guide them to the path of Jannah. May all your children be righteous, reformers and faithful, and may Allah benefit the nation of Islam through them. 🌼🌼