Islam organized the idea of Love through decent means and official commitment in order to protect society. As a form of Allah’s love and appreciation for women in Islam, he wanted to safeguard her from heartbreaking or deception, and this is why a safe relationship is the one that has a promise of marriage.
The concept of Halal Relationship is the equivalent of the Marriage in Islam, in both its phases, the Katb kitab and the actual Moveout; engagement (khotba) precedes marriage, and this phase provides the opportunity for both man and woman, to get to know each other. Your absolute right as a Muslim woman is to be confident about your decision when marrying someone, not to feel any pressure while doing so, at the end of the day YOUR decision alongside will be the decisive factor. The beauty resides in Halal because it is an incredible blessing that rewards the couple for all their actions and feelings.
As inspired from the Prophet Mohammad’s “peace be upon him” life, and from what the Islam taught us, we present to you below some tips for a healthy and a happy relationship with your beloved one:
1. Make the Worship of Allah your main priority
Worshiping Allah is the main pillar for a Strong, healthy and happy relationship.
An essential element to maintain a good relationship, is to spend some spiritual moments together. This will make you closer to each other, and closer to Allah as well. These shared moments provide a different feeling of inner peace and happiness, especially because you are taking part in providing Ajer for each other.
How can you spend spiritual moments together?
You might be busy all day, at work or in different occupations, yet Praying Maghrib and Ishaa Jama’a with your man, will absolutely be a great opportunity to connect. You can also read your Athkar, or even set a time to read Quraan together, daily or at least once a week, for example every Friday.
In addition to that, you can consider going to Umrah, having Iftar together, or doing any act of charity towards orphans or poor people in pair.
2. Keep the Love heated up as Prophet Mohammad did
The beauty of Islam and Halal, is that it rewards you Ajer for Loving your husband, since it is considered a form of Ibada (Worship); so how about you show this love in your words and actions?
Prophet Mohammad “peace be upon him” was not afraid to show his love for his wife, neither did she, even in presence of other people. Aisha “may Allah be pleased with her” used to ask for reassurance from the prophet that he loved her; So, she once asked him: “How is your love for me?” The Prophet replied that it was like the Rope’s knot (meaning his love for her was so strong). She would often remind him about it by asking “How is the knot?” and he would reply: “The same as ever!”
As a couple, try to have a Dinner Date together every now and then, and tell him how much you love him; you can follow the actions of Prophet Mohammad “peace be upon him”; he used to eat in the same plate with his wife, and drink from the same spot she placed her lips on the cup. There is no wrong to be Romantic with your partner in Halal, yet you are encouraged to exaggerate in your Love for him. It is known that the hearts that are tender by the remembrance of Allah, will be more emotional in the actual life.
3. Establish transparency in communication
The communication is an essential component to build and strengthen the relationship. You may consider the satisfaction of Allah by treating each other in good manner and considering each other’s feelings especially when having an argument.
Arguments should not create a barrier among you, yet they are a proof that you are different; and sometimes having a different point of view may open your eyes on things you never considered before. Do not let the dispute continue for days, and do not sleep if you are mad at each other. Keep in mind that all relationships have their ups and downs, so try to control your anger!
Here is an essential rule in case of argument:
It is not you against him. It is You and Him against the Problem.
A little act in the beginning may lead to the best endings! Once you meet your loved one, salute him with a Smile, and keep it traced on your beautiful face since it is an act of charity!
And just like you love to hear sweet words, your spouse likes to be complimented as well! So, be generous and fill his heart with warm compliments; it is also a form of charity.
4. Leave a space for fun in your daily life
A relationship should not always be serious and strict, because this will lead to a boring and cold communication. Everyone likes to play and have fun from time to time, regardless of their age; and our prophet “peace be upon him” encouraged us to spend some Quality time with our loved one, and he taught us this by his actions that had means of playfulness. He used to race with Aisha “may Allah be pleased with her” on his journeys, even when he was accompanied by other people.
You too, can do some activities together and experience new things. This will add a variety and liveliness to your relationship and will help build your companionship. If we apply this concept to our days now, you can for example have some PlayStation time together!
5. Love yourself
The woman is a precious diamond and her beauty should be revealed only to the person who deserves it in Halal. Do not be afraid to display all your femininity in your Voice, body, clothes and hair! So, spend some time to take care of yourself, like the Prophet’s wife did.
On the other hand, and as Prophet Mohammad “peace be upon him” taught us, the woman is honored in Islam. So, as a main rule: Do not accept any action that makes you feel undermined or causes you harm.
It is your right to be treated well as the Prophet recommended in his last words regarding women:
“Treat women with kindness, treat women with kindness! And make sure you want well
Remember, the best gift you can offer to your partner, is your own happiness. If you are happy, then you will absolutely spread the vibes to others.
6. Maintain the Trust and Honesty
One important thing to keep the Halal relationship healthy, is to have trust and honesty. It should be present in all the matters of your life, especially in taking major decisions. If you build a strong bond of trust through honesty, you will guarantee a life full of peacefulness. You will not be afraid to share anything with your partner, because he will be like your best friend and thus it will create a support system for you whenever you need it, and will be a basis for you two to overcome any situation together with harmony and less arguments.
7. Differentiate between flaws and quirks
It is essential to understand the difference between flaws and quirks. Flaws being an unwanted trait in your partner and generally, all people have flaws that you should acknowledge and work towards solving them.
On the other hand, quirks are small imperfections that all people have. It being a hobby, weird passion, etc. It is important to accept and try to adapt with the quirks of your partner, yet you are encouraged to highlight and work on resolving the flaws you have in both your personalities, to keep them elevated and in continuous advancement.
The beginnings are for all, yet the ones who last are those who hold their hands till the end. Life has its ups and downs that you will be facing together, so do not let the sparkle of love fade.
The life of the Prophet Mohammad “peace be upon him” with his wife, is full of moments and lessons that inspire us to have a happy family life built on the pillars of love and kindness. So why do we prevent ourselves from expressing, in a way that has been displayed by the person we look up to? Being harsh on the person we share our life with, speaking to him in a disrespectful way, neglecting him is the exact opposite of what Islam taught us; so, keep your words sweet and kind, same as your actions.Love each other’s imperfections. Your partner may not be a perfect man, but let him be the perfect partner. Simply, because if a light bulb in a house is broken, you should not change the whole house rather than finding a solution to the problem. You should always vison your partner as a bundle of good and bad traits.