Our relationships are an important aspect of our lives. From parents, to children, to neighbours, to spouses–these are the people we share our lives with. They know us better than anyone, and everyday they help shape us into the person that we are becoming. The Koran and Hadiths provide guidance on sacred relationships. How do we treat our parents? To what do I owe my neighbour? These are questions we grapple with daily, and by diving into the words of Allah and His Prophet (PBUH), we can find some answers.
What stronger bond is there than between parent and child! The holy Qura’an recognized the special nature of the relationship between parent and offspring. The Qura’an calls us to respect and obey our parents. As our teachers, providers and caregivers, our parents hold a station of utmost authority and respect in our lives.
Although the relationship of respect and obedience extends to both parents, Mothers are given extra regard, because of their special role in our lives.
The Holy Qura’an says that we owe mothers a special respect-they carried us to term through nine long months of difficult pregancy!
“We have enjoined man concerning his parents: His mother carried him through
weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years. Give thanks to
Me and to your parents. To Me is the return,”
Another Hadith suggests that the Mother and Father are the two who most deserve good treatment in our lives. Abu Huraira reported that a person said: “Allah's Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment?” He said: “Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).”
Children are priceless treasures from Allah–worth more than all the silver and gold in the world. Children are the future: they inspire hope, peace, and the inspiration of a better tomorrow. In the eyes of Allah, children are precious gifts that should be loved for, cared for, and taught correctly.
The Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) showed us by example the way we should be treating children. They’re not perfect. They’re messy–they make mistakes. But we should always approach our children with mercy.
Abu Huraira reported that the Prophet said :
“He who does not show mercy (towards his children),
no mercy would be shown to him.”
The Prophet (PBUH) also believed in patience with children. As they learn, we should be slow to anger with them. Al Bukhari reported that Anas Ibn Malik said of the prophet: “I served the Prophet s.a.w for ten years, and he never said to me, ‘Uff’ (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, "Why did you do so or why didn't you do so?”
While neighbours are not family, they are still an integral part of our daily life. As members of our immediate community, we should strive to maintain healthy, happy relationships with neighbours and treat them with kindness, dignity, and respect. The Holy Qura’an tells us that not just those who live next to us are neighbours–we should even consider strangers as our neighbours.
“Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good – to parents,
kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are
strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer, and what your right hands possess,”
Al Bukhari reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said that “He is not a believer who eats his fill whilst his neighbour beside him goes hungry.” So, we have a duty to share what we have with those in our community–and help them when they can.
Likewise, we should show humility towards our neighbours. Abu Huraira reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said "O Muslim women! No one should scorn the gift of a neighbour, even if it is (only) a sheep’s foot.”
Marriage is a special bond because it is one that we get to choose. You can’t choose your parents, children, and oftentimes cannot choose your neighbours. But a marital spouse is someone that you pick as a life partner. The Qura’an is full of wisdom and guidance on marriage.
The Qura’an tells us that we were made for a soulmate–a twin flame that Allah created especially for us, and dispersed across the earth. There is someone that we were made for.
“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from
it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women,”
Marriage is a union that involves mutual understanding and trust. You and your spouse cover and protect each other, like a piece of clothing. Both must understand their roles, and the needs of their partner.
“They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them,”
You must have patience in finding your spouse. If you’re struggling to find the One, hold on, and don’t allow yourself to be pulled into impure thoughts or haram relationships. In Allah’s time, your spouse will be provided, and you will be blessed for your patience.
And let those who cannot find someone to marry maintain chastity
until Allah (SwT) makes them rich through His favours ..."